It's Not Easy Being Queen, Part I

My slaves have started ignoring me ever more frequently of late, sitting there clicking away at the clicky screeny thingys all hours of the day and night.

I even heard a rumour that since the male one has deserted Blogger he convinced the female slave to join him in telling a little bit of their story together...on the screeny thingy, no less.

It's time to plot my revenge once again...and so I bring you...

"It's Not Easy Being Queen : The Fabulousness That Is Me"

As you're well aware by now, I really don't need any words to convey my brilliance; it's those darned slaves that keep putting them in my mouth (you should hear the male one...he thinks I'm some sort of "valley girl kitty" or something...does he not know I'm British??).

So, let my words be few as I present myself in all my royal splendour...















Please share you thoughts on how I should label this masterpiece pic.

Neglect

The humans have left me to fend for myself...again.

They've both been using those clicky screeny thingy's a fair bit this week, and have left me to lie on the female's nightdress under their bed.

I know it seems like this is in fact how I ask to be treated, but srsly, a kitty shouldn't have to put up with such incredibly poor performance from her slaves.

So here I am on the clicky screeny thingy myself now that they've gone to bed.

Don't they know that if I seem to be asking to be left alone, I really want them to play with me, and if I come asking to be played with, I really want food, and if I purr loudly around the food bowl, it's because I really just want them to get up off their fat behinds and pay me some attention momentarily...before I head back to the bed again. No matter how many times I click my claws at them (especially the female one), she just doesn't seem to get it quite right.

I know I sound like a broken record with all this. Which is funny, since I have no idea what a broken record is. I'm just going to have to head back to bed...again...after all, a kitty needs her beauty cutey rest.

Under the Weather

Contrary to popular cat belief, I am not a sunseeking kitty. Sure, I like to recharge my batteries in the morning rays for 5 minutes, but after that, I require temperatures between 25-27 degrees Celsius. If the humans can't deliver that, then there's trouble.

Today was one of those days. Not only could they not control the temperature, they failed to control the weather either. It was cold, dark, wet and substandard.

All this moisture makes for fuzzy fur, not befitting my status. The female tries to brush me, which is intolerable. I'm a natural beauty and don't need artificial help!

They've tried to tempt me out with those yummy green treats, but they only seem to agree with my delicate palate on warm days.

Well, I'm off to find the warmest spot, even if it means slumming it. *Sigh* You just can't get the service these days.

Slaves - more blankets!

I'm Not Your Monkey.

If it weren't so sad, it would be hilarious.

As I mentioned in my last post, I reckoned that showing affection to the humans wasn't so bad. Unfortunately, as humans do, they thought they could push it a bit further.

They think they can train me? To perform tricks? For SNACKS? Next thing I know they'll be bringing home a little piano and expecting me to tap-dance up the corridor with a little hat.

The female thinks that she's getting me to sit on command. I'm actually sitting in disgust at their laughable attempts at telling ME to do anything.

Still, they are terribly nice snacks that make me come running from whatever I'm doing to taste their fishy crunchy goodness. What a dilemma.

*sigh* OK, I'll listen just this once. But only for the male human. :-)